Are you guys still reading? Hope I didn’t lose you already. I feel like Jerry McGuire taking the goldfish just to have someone come along with me. Ha. Where’s Dorothy Boyd when you need her?!
If you’re still with me, what did you think of month 1 in our little happiness project? Even if you just want the cliffs notes, month 2 is pretty legit. Rubin writes, “the atmosphere of my marriage sets the weather for my whole life.” As much as I tend to agree with the old adage, “happy wife, happy life.” I would agree more with, “happy marriage, happy life.” Too bad nobody came up with a word that rhymes with marriage to make this mantra stick. All I can think of is carriage, and according to our author the carriage is one of the biggest triggers to throwing a relationship’s happiness off a bit. Annnnyway, this chapter is focused on keeping a marriage/significant relationship a happy one for both partners. Sign me up for the wife for life plan….
Isn’t it crazy how the closest, most important relationships in our life tend to be the ones that we’re most likely to mistreat or take for granted? This makes absolutely no sense on paper, but I’m pretty sure most will agree that the closest ones in our lives too often bear the brunt of our “stuff.” I wake up in a bad mood, who’s the first person I give a frown face too?! The hubs. The kids drive me bonkers during the day and who’s the first person I greet with “They’re all yours?” Ding, ding, ding.
I’d rank my marriage pretty high on the happiness scale, but there’s definitely room for improvement. I know for a fact there are areas where I could change up my attitude/behavior to make an overall improvement in my own happiness and that of my marriage. I brought Bret home to meet my Mom pretty early on in our courtship. I knew he was a keeper. I think she knew it too because when she saw us get into an argument over french fries, she reminded us to be patient and kind to each other. I wish I could say these behaviors are an automatic in my marriage. Nobody comes between me and my fries. Nobody’s perfect, but I want to get to the place where patience and kindness are as prevalent as dirty diapers. 😉
Don’t expect praise or appreciation
Give proofs of love
//Quit Nagging //
I’m pretty sure if you surveyed most men on their biggest complaint about their relationship with their wife, a nagging wife would top the list. The conundrum is that most women don’t believe that our bossy/GSD behavior warrants a Nagging Queen sash. I mean, most of us (myself included) don’t even think we are the nagging type. Ha. Lately, I’ve been paying more attention to times when nagging behavior takes over my body and have to admit, that “My name is Lyndsey and I’m a nag.” In this section of the book, Rubin outlines some anti-nagging techniques and the one I chose to incorporate into my marriage is this:
From as far back as maybe our second or third date I can remember nagging B about his driving. But it’s taken me 5 years to actually admit to being guilty as charged. A back seat driver in the front seat. How annoying?! The truth of the matter is he’s actually a decent driver. I’ve definitely experienced far worse. Not only does the car nagging drive B crazy, it also gets us off on the wrong foot. The car ride to dinner ends in nagging and that mood continues well into the first course. No fun. The ride to the park or the Children’s museum and now we’re in bad moods in front of the kids. So my resolution is to just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride from now on. No more, “Why didn’t you turn back there?” Or, “This is NOT a NASCAR race, we want to arrive alive.” Ugh, who wants to hear that. My tongue may be sore by the end of the month, but my relationship will be happier. That’s a fact.
Next up, “honey do” list anti-nagging strategies. I don’t know guys, I’m pretty worn out, maybe I’ll save that one for next year’s happiness project.